Eurovision 2012: Swedish Beyonce

Yes, it was Eurovision time again. Like last year, I thought I would offer some quick thoughts on the contestants.

United Kingdom

Think Humperdinck is a bit too old for this show. So old, they had a very young dance duo behind him that seemed like a completely different act. Crowing a bit. Fireworks aren’t going to hide the degrading voice.

Hungary

Sounded like Savage Garden. Simple song, simple routine, simple visuals. Too simple maybe. A middling pop/soft-rock song. Forgettable. Bet they were roasting in all that dark leather.

Albania

A voice that kinda sounds like Bjork and an outfit from the Middle-Ages. The song sounded unusually angry and bitter. When she wasn’t holding the high notes for agonizingly long seconds. It’s an impressive vocal skill, but doesn’t always sound good.

Lithuania

Decent voice. Lame, shoulder centric dancing. Blindfold was dumb. “Love is blind”, yes we get it. Also seemed to be singing the different parts of a band at times, the way his pitch changed (like he was doing his own back-up). Still very good overall though.

Bosnia and Herzegovina

Pretty good. Didn’t actually seem like there was much piano in the song though so, didn’t miss it once she moved on. Lyrics didn’t seem to match the tune on occasion. Quite good though.

Russia

The gimmick entry of this year. Really, really unsuitable for this competition. Music was too loud. Lyrics were too basic. Just awful all round. Total, total gimmick, akin to Dustin and Lordi.

Iceland

Very dramatic. Girl was the weak link. With the guitars, then the violins, trying to be several things at once. A bit out of tune. Not too bad overall.

Cyprus

I hate songs that use the word “la” a lot. Prettiest one so far, shame the voice doesn’t match her looks. Too much dancing, seemed out of breath at times. Her English inflection wasn’t good. Mediocre pop song.

France

Crazy, distracting dancing. Catchy tune, pretty singer. Sounded vaguely like the Street Fighter music. Seriously though, the dancers were just out of place.

Italy

Sounded like a gang song from West Side Story. More “la’s”. Bit of Amy Winehouse in there too. Not that great really but better then much of what preceded. Main singer was struggling towards the end.

Estonia

Sounded like “All By Myself” in Estonian. Not a bad soloist. The girl wasn’t necessary, the guy was doing great on his own. Hit the high notes without becoming irritating.

Norway

A Scandinavian Justin Timberlake/Peter Andre. Dance moves were decent. Voice not so much. Not a bad techno-pop song but others have done that better tonight.

Azerbaijan

Decent, if unexceptional song. Dress theatrics were mental. Good looking singer. Kind of going for power ballad type deal, partly succeeding?

Romania

Interesting set up. Worked well, the mix of Spanish rhythm and English pop. Good singer. Probably the best “show” so far. Basic lyrics though.

Denmark

Generic girl group, nothing really that special. Fine voice on the lead, decent instrumentals. The kind of song that should do better then it will.

Greece

Shakira-esque. Some crazy dance moves. Wasn’t too bad, but basic lyrics and generic techno music. Lot of style over substance.

Sweden

Liked the voice, the costumes, the song. A bit of Swedish Beyonce in a way. Seemed to get worse as it went along though. Not sure what the point of anyone other than the main girl as well. Ditto for that guy dancer who showed up in the last minute.

Turkey

The guy’s quasi-English accent was the last thing I expected from the getup and visual imagery they were showing off. Fairly bizarre, certainly a bit gimmicky.

Spain

Didn’t work for me. I guess it just didn’t amaze me like this kind of singular female ballad has to if it’s going to have a chance. Language barrier might be an issue. Got a weird sensation of Snow Patrol’s “Light Up” off this tune as well.

Germany

Generic boy band. Guy had a throat problem. Bit like something The Script or Westlife might sing if they had a cold. Didn’t sound “German” at all. Isn’t that what we’re supposing to be going for? Still kinda liked it though.

Malta

Some hipster looking guys in this band. Bit out of tune. Decent though, for the most part. Sounded like the kind of song that usually wins Eurovision recently. Replaces “la’s” with “eh’s”. Good stuff.

F.Y.R Macedonia

An opera singer trying to sing a pop-rock song. Guitar back-up was actually pretty good. Good voice, good song, good music. Maybe just too much of a medley though.

Ireland

I actually think they’ve gotten better since the performance last year, but they still can’t sing. Lots of manic energy, genuine enthusiasm and strange dance moves. Music was a bit too loud which was bad considering the tone-deafness.

Serbia

A Buble impersonator.  Nice voice, but average song, needed a bit more life to it. Has there always been this many violins in the Eurovision?

Ukraine

This woman is Ukrainian? Sounds more like Whitney Huston. Really good voice, bit of an odd backdrop. Dancing was poor. Not sure the horns were a good choice. Kelly Rowland and her “When Love Takes Over” should consider legal action.

Moldova

One last weird entry. Crazy costumes, odd song, screwball dancing. Really, really eye-raising dance moves. The camera wasn’t helping with all, with the fast zooms.

If interested, I ranked them all thusly (actual placing in brackets):

1. Lithuania (14)
2. Estonia (6)
3. F.Y.R Macedonia (13)
4. Malta (21)
5. Bosnia and Herzegovina (18)
6. Romania (12)
7. Sweden (1)
8. Denmark (23)
9. Germany (8)
10. Ukraine (15)
11. France (22)
12. Azerbaijan (4)
13. Norway (26)
14. Italy (9)
15. Iceland (20)
16. Serbia (3)
17. Ireland (19)
18. Greece (17)
19. Spain (10)
20. Hungary (24)
21. Turkey (7)
22. Cyprus (16)
23. Albania (5)
24. Moldova (11)
25. United Kingdom (25)
26. Russia (2)

I can’t wait for the ABBA medley next year.